Overcome your resistance to putting yourself “out there”

Hello friends, and welcome to episode 3 of the Conscious Women Entrepreneurs Podcast!

I’m your host, Martine Thomassen and today I will be talking about something that has been really big for me in launching a business. Stepping into being visible online and speaking our authentic truth is something I hear a lot of people having resistance towards – and this is what I’ll be diving deeper into today. How can we move from the never ending “planning phase”? How do we get more comfortable in putting ourselves out there? How can we create value on a consistent basis? How do we stop tweaking behind the scenes before we actually get down to business and start growing our income?

This all really comes down to mindset and moving beyond our perfectionism, fear of failure and other limiting beliefs. 

There’s this really great quote by Brené Brown that I think is very fitting for this conversation:

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” ― Brené Brown

WILLINGNESS TO BE A NEW BEGINNER AND MESS UP

If you’re anything like me, you LOVE learning and have taken courses for just about everything in relation to what you’re building. We want it to be perfect from the get go and therefore prepare, tweak, research, tweak, take another course and then prepare some more. We want our instagram color scheme to look great, our bio to be perfect and our niche must of course be on point. Not to forget the website… don’t even get me started on the website. We do so much to prepare and perfect our business, that the show is actually happening behind the scenes and not on the stage. If you’re not actively connecting with your audience, sharing offers and putting yourself out there in some way, you don’t have a business… You have a very time consuming, expensive hobby. 

COPING MECHANISM

Learning it all and using thousands of dollars on courses to prepare has a tendency to tip over to being a coping mechanism. It prevents you from actually putting yourself out there. You’re blowing off lots of money and time – clients are passing you by because they don’t know what you’re offering and how you can help them. 

I struggled with this for the longest time, so I get you – I really get you! It’s scary to get out there in front of people – and often the hardest part is to get in front of those you already know. It’s said that priests never serve in their own city because the people they know are too attached to their previous identity to regard them as a priest. This, in many ways, holds true for entrepreneurs as well. The entrepreneurial journey is incredibly expansive, forcing us to grow into a new version of ourselves. Many naturopaths say that they’re having a hard time telling people what they do – they just want to get it over and done with because some people don’t see them as “real doctors” or don’t understand their methods. Of course you’re going to have resistance towards fully putting yourself out there when you don’t feel well received! 

Entrepreneurs, change your focus!

I hate to break it to you, but when you’re afraid of putting yourself out there and put off sharing content because it’s not “good enough” in your eyes, you’re actually being selfish!

This is coming from someone who’s spent a looooot of time in that mindspace, so I’m saying it with utmost compassion and love! Instead of focussing on your imagined shortcomings or imperfections, change the focus to instead be: “How can I create value and help these people?” 

If you put up that sign in front of your home-based practice, if you share that post on Facebook, or, better yet, reach out to someone who has a podcast where you can add value, you are making yourself more accessible. People will actually be able to find you and benefit from what you have to offer. 

PROMOTING OTHERS

Many people think it’s easier to promote others than to promote themselves. Self promoting feels icky, sleesy and gets us asking ourselves “who am I to do this” or “why would anyone care what I have to say” or even “I just don’t know what to say at all”. 

Here are the good news: You don’t have to promote yourself. You can share and document your journey and what you’re currently learning, studying or working with. Another really great way to communicate your message is to share your clients’ results. This way, you’re not self promoting, but rather, celebrating your amazing clients and the great progress that they are experiencing. From a marketing perspective this is content that works really well because not only are you creating trust from your followers by showing them that you are good at your job. You are also helping them see themselves working with you through the examples of your clients. So a rule of thumb is; be the helper or guide and not the hero. Everyone is the main character in their own life, and so your clients are the hero on a journey to get healthier. You are simply their helper who assists them in reaching their goals. And when they do well, you can be their biggest cheerleader and share their wins through your social channels. Everyone loves recognition. Even if it’s on a sensitive topic, you can share it anonymously, praising their amazing results. They will feel seen and others will get curious about your offers.  

However, to take a step back and look at the fear of putting ourselves out there, I also want to touch on confidence.

You know when someone speaks with absolute confidence – their posture is great, they speak in a way that’s super engaging and people around them are naturally drawn to them?

The reverse is also true; when you’re not confident in what you’re doing and you feel that you’re just dabbling in your practice and not really going for it. You are going to emmitt a frequency that tells people exactly that. People won’t be engaged and be drawn to you in the same way. 

We humans have antennas that pick up subconscious cues that inform us of the people around us. SO, if you’re not feeling good enough in relation to any aspect of your business, your energy will reveal that subconsciously to your clients. As a result you might also start to procrastinate and avoid the very things that would get you visible and attract clients. 

Remember, by hiding, we’re actually focussing on ourselves – not on our clients!

COACH CAN HELP 

Building confidence and overcoming limiting beliefs such as not feeling “good enough” is something that I help a lot of my clients with. Very often, regardless of the topic, it often boils down to these two. And I think for women in general, this is something to work on. A coach can help you bridge the gap between your current mindset and the mindset needed to play at your best level. If hiring a coach is not something that you’re ready to invest in yet, journaling can also be a great tool. 

Write down all the reasons why you’re not putting yourself out there and what you fear will happen if you really go for it. Once you’ve seen this vulnerable part of yourself, you can now start to write down reasons that you should put yourself out there and all the benefits of that – both for yourself, your family and for your followers. 

So what I want to leave you with today is that it’s okay to feel scared to put yourself out there. But if you don’t work through that resistance, you will deprive a lot of people of the amazing results that they could get by working with you. 

I know a lot of people struggle with this, so if you think you have anyone in your network who would benefit from listening to this episode, please share it in your insta-story and tag me. I always repost and I love your feedback, so don’t be shy!

Cheers!